Killing Mind

Men are approximately 5 to 8 beers behind women. Give an average male about 4 to 6 beers in reasonably quick succession, and he will begin to empathise with women. Actually it's not quite empathy, since that might require at least superficial understanding and compassion. No, it's much closer to simple imitation. The sober female is a beast more in common with the 6 beer influenced male that his sober counterpart.

Many men feel no desire to dance. Many men will sneer at a dance floor upon arrival at a pub, because the act of dancing is rarely entertaining to men. 5 beers later, the same man will be busting grooves to the shittiest dance music an unoriginal DJ can conjure. Women of course, look forward to dancing before cracking their first sugar saturated candi-cohol drink.

Boys don't cry. Unless their dog dies, they cop a golf club to the nuts or they see real life D cup breasts for the first time. But many men have been reduced to a blubbering mess at the hands of less than a dozen strong drinks, a sympathetic ear, and the resurfaced memory of regular atomic wedgie attacks on the school bus. Women are comfortable shedding sober tears every single time the short-sighted heroine ends up marrying the quiet guy who was right all along.

Guys don't often binge on chocolate, Nutella coated bread, chocolate covered ice-cream or Nutella smothered chocolate. But place a jar of chocolate dipped Nutella with ice-cream at eye level at the exit of a pub, and you'd be hard pressed to find a 5 to 8 beer inspired man who wont shovel the jar, jar included into their mouth. Women need no such encouragement.

Maybe the same phenomenon is at work when a guy will find a Vodka sugar mega mix repulsive when sober, but be sneaking plenty of "sips" of the girl's drink after they've had a few beers themselves. Girls will of course, be happy to start the night on them.

How many hours have been idled away between women, arguing over trivial matters? You know they are trivial, you know they're not worth an argument, but there's no way you're going to let it stand. Rarely will a sober man be bothered having a conversation long enough to maintain such fickle topics. However, observe any conversation between men who've consumed a 6 pack each, and you're sure to find an awfully inappropriate devotion to forcing opinions on such matters as which World Wrestling Federation wrestler really was the best; what a fucktard the bouncer was for looking at you funny; and whether that nameless chick was really trying to say something when she excused herself while trying to get past in a tight situation. Suddenly pettiness is no barrier to loudly proclaiming your vision.

Moody. Sober men are either horny or asleep. Sober women are a fascinating kaleidoscope of entertaining dispositions which keep you on your toes by changing just you begin to understand them. After 5 beers though, a man will be shaking hands of the guy he punched moments earlier, and be a snoring log moments after excitedly advocating the idea of hitting the next night club for a wild all nighter.

Mmm, I feel like getting drunk now.